Well this was unpredictable. True, concerns were creeping along the headlines that the Coronavirus was a bit of a threat, but at least we were not China or Italy.
I was in Texas a little over two weeks ago for my sister’s wedding and my grandfather’s memorial service (actually it was a hell of a party). I came back from this 17 day Texas trip refreshed and ready to finish what I started. Confined by the first week of my return from the severe weather Arizona faced last week, I was determined to make up for all the time lost not being out in the world by taking mass transit and exploring all that this place had to offer.
Now for the screeching halt…
It turns out, everyone fell under the dictatorship of the Coronavirus and it was no longer considered a good idea to be an explorer. No big deal! At least the weather cleared up and I can go for a walk and get out of my building whenever I feel like it. That’s a plus, right?
Actually, things got a little worse. Grocery stores turned into madhouses, servers timidly revealed that there will be a mass reduction of items on their menus, indefinitely, and my confinement had a more severe sentencing from no longer being imprisoned to my building, but to my apartment!! You see, last week, weathering the severe storms, I had the luxury of changing my environment between a tenant lounge, a boardroom, a game room, a lobby, a pool…A far cry from my pre-war tenant days in NYC. But now, those luxuries just became off limits “until further notice”. Look, I don’t blame the property management company and to be fair, Arizona does have a tendency of attracting an elderly population during this time of year.
Yep, for those of you who didn’t know, Snowbird Season is real.
So now what do I do? I have crawled up under the covers and started reading a new book before finishing the three other books I have started. I am trying to finish a writing project I have been working on for months, but stupid me - I’ve relied on the perfectly quiet, isolating, vibe in the tenant lounge during sunrise. And well…I love my rabbits, but they make too much noise.
I can make do with social distancing. But to that woman who drove by me screaming :
YOU FUCKING CUNT! GET OFF THE FUCKING SIDEWALK!!!!
(While I was trying to go for a run, in a vacant space, since they just closed my gym) I have to say to you:
“Come on, that’s not what the news meant…through your raging temper though, I can see how you probably are a pro at social distancing…it wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve been at it for years.”
I know, I know, I shouldn’t complain. And from what I’ve seen so far on social media broadcasting all the photos, videos, and reports from NYC, it is obvious that I could have it much, much, worse.
The truth of the matter is that I miss NYC right now. And right after being battered by Hurricane Sandy in 2012, I didn’t hesitate to step out of the apartment and assess the damage. Clearly, there was clean up that had to take place before order could be reestablished. But New Yorkers kept pushing on. And right now, it’s hard to see the damage where I’m at and it’s hard not to feel imprisoned, even though I do have the comfort and luxuries that (I’m aware) some people don’t have. Still, it is eerie to not be able to touch the damage, assess what needs to be fixed and move on. Sitting here, avoiding complacency, in silence, is the worst thing a spirit can do when all they want to do is take action. It takes this moment for me to finally understand the cruelty behind caging a wild animal. Its’ instincts are powerful and just need to be. It’s hard to not walk out of my apartment and into the world. For me, that was the first rule of thumb in creating purpose. But I will sit here and somehow find a purpose with what I have and instead of what I want.
I just hope it’s enough…