Caused A Scene



Butterfly wings Kitana with fan

I dedicate this blog to self-awareness, the first element that measures an individual's ability to absorb emotional intelligence...

And the very first topic to leave me stunned and confused...

Three drafts later and I still found this subject extremely difficult to communicate in an even flow of effortless reflection. All the pieces of the puzzle were visible, but did they fit together? No...Even after weeks of putting pen to paper, there was still nothing more to show for it other than a bunch of disheveled thoughts. None of it made sense.

Why?

Taking a step back brought me to the realization that there is a way I can work through this documentation. I promised myself that I would never do this on my blog because it's way too personal, but I feel I don't have a choice, so here we go:

IT'S PLAY TIME

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

MY JOURNEY INTO SELF-AWARENESS

CHARACTERS:

Butterfly - The dreamer, births unlimited ideation, optimism, light, and energy for Writer.

Warrior - The fighter, births aggression, tenacity, analyzes, and critiques Writer.

Writer - Me, paralyzed with a pen barely touching my notebook.

Note* - For those of you who've never read a play before, everytime you see (BEAT) that means there's an awkward silence between the characters.

SCENE:

It's the middle of the night and Writer is pacing back and forth in the dark living room. She grabs a lighter and lights the three candles on the table, where her notebook lies. She digs in her satchel, below her stool to find a black pen. She sits on the stool and stares at the notebook. Observing the words written on the page, she tries to connect the pen to the paper.

Writer

It's not getting any...

She stands up and paces back and forth, then she stops. She has an idea, but the moment her eyes meet the notebook as she sits back down, she is reluctant to write.

It's here, it's here! Why isn't...?

She puts the pen down, takes a deep breath and rests her head on the notebook. She closes her eyes.

I don't know...I just don't know anymore...

Butterfly enters

Butterfly

Are you okay?

Writer

Not you! The last thing I need is you right now.

Butterfly

Why?

Writer

I don't need another one of your crazy ideas in my head!

Butterfly

Okay...Well, what are you working on?

Writer

Trying to piece together a self-awareness blog.

Butterfly

Yay! Risky topic, that is awesome!

Writer

...And scary.

Butterfly

Sometimes our best work comes from the things that scare us the most.

Writer

True...but do the same rules apply if there is unresolved conflict that you're afraid has no end?

Butterfly

Visualize an ending! I can help, let me dream! Let's dream big!

Writer

No! I'd prefer to work with what I already have. I do not want to reach for the stars right now. Please, let me try to manage what is on my plate.

Butterfly exits as Warrior enters. Writer becomes even more irritated.

Writer

I know what you are going to say, now leave me alone.

Warrior

Sure! Because that worked out soooo well for you the last time you ignored me.

Writer

Shut up!

(BEAT)

Warrior

Well, you're doing it, you've kept your head in the game, your eye on the prize and now, look what's happening.

Writer

But I'm exhausted.

Warrior

Come on...come on! Get up! Get productive, don't stop now!!

Writer

I'm not! I just don't want to continue on like this! Every obstacle is turning into a foe I have to brutally fight. Can't I just take a moment to breathe and dream of what I want outcome to actually be before starting another fight?

Butterfly re-enters and stand opposite of Warrior.

Warrior

Okay then...So what's on the agenda for tonight?

Writer

I don't know...

Warrior

Hey Butterfly, can you give us another minute? I have to touch base, with her, on a subject that your not familiar with, it's called reality.

Writer

Seriously?

Butterfly

Let's not forget I was the one that dreamt you up in the first place!

Writer

Okay, okay, chill...

Butterfly

She summoned me! That's why you are here, remember? She didn't want to be a Disney Princess, she wanted to be the Mortal Kombat princess! A princess with power. A princess who could levitate her foes, taking control over them every time they crossed her.

Writer

Loved that move! I love her metal fans!

Butterfly

And that kiss of death -

Writer

- How she removed her mask and revealed her beauty -

Butterfly

- Leaning in to plant that kiss -

Writer

- Watching her enemies explode into thousands of fleshy pieces.

Writer laughs

It's pretty awesome.

Warrior

Talk about killing your enemies with kindness.

(BEAT)

What are you writing about?

Writer

Self-awareness, I know what I want to say, I just don't know how to say it.

Warrior

Why not?

Writer

After my research, I feel...different.

Warrior

Like you are now aware of certain things?

(BEAT)

Writer

...Yeah.

Butterfly

Why the hesitation?

Warrior

Shhh! She needs to put her thoughts in order!

Writer

I don't know if I can...

Warrior

I think you do, you're just avoiding it.

Writer

Stop!